No Fear
by bigBEARwarrior
Summary: I hope you feel full on fear. When it seems to knock the wind out of your lungs. Race your heart with such adrenaline and makes your mind scream. I CAN'T DO THIS! Because there is no other feeling than being alive when conquered. So when you are deadly afraid to love someone with all your soul, that's when you know you have to push your self over that ledge. Zeke/OC Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**No Fear**

Chapter One:

Abnegation the selfless

Amity the peaceful

Candor the honest

Dauntless the brave

Erudite the intelligent

And what was I?

 _This question had always plagued the back of my mind_ , I thought secretly. My green hazel eyes scanned a couple crossing the street hand in hand. I shifted my eyes to my shaking hands. _I should just run away now. The factionless do exist out there. I could survive_ , my mind again tried to coax me.

"Miss. Platts," my eyes glared up to his voice, "your mother is requesting your presence." The stoic and un-flattering man waited for me to stand up and join him. I was a prisoner in my own faction. To my own mother. Stiffly I got to my feet and marched toward the erudite tower. Everything was white, sterile, ridged and reformed. Honestly, it was a place you couldn't breathe nor make mistakes.

Thankfully, I never had those worries. I was already a mistake in her eyes. Stepping into her office, my eyes landed to a younger woman typing away on a computer. She had fiery dark red hair pinned up in a tight bun. And when hearing my entrance, her bright dark blue eyes shined with happiness with her smile. Maeve Cartwright. My adoptive sister, star pupil and the daughter my mother always wanted. Speaking of the devil, my mother's lips tightened as her hand gently rested on Maeve shoulders.

Promptly I asked, "You called for me?"

My mother gave a strained smile, "As you know, the choosing ceremony is tomorrow. I want to tell you what ever faction calls to you, you should choose." She started to move closer to me and place her hand on my shoulder. With her back turn away from Maeve, my monster of a mother glared at me and squeezed my shoulder tight, "I want what's best for you."

Shrugging my shoulder away, I responded, "I will." _Don't you worry_ , I thought angry. _I wasn't coming anywhere near here again._

My adopted sister came over toward us and replied cheery, "I hope we both end back at Erudite."

I gave a forced smile under my mother's watchful eye and replied, "Well we know you, the smartest person in the world, will find her way back home."

Her eyes seemed slight in alarm at the hint I wasn't coming back, but Maeve let it roll off for now. I flick my eyes back to the cold heart woman and reply, "Do you need anything else?"

Jeanine shook her blond hair and she said, "Maeve, let's get back to that programming." Quickly I exited out of her office with fist clenched. For the past months I had been taking 'vacations' visiting different factions to figure out where I would best belong. Whatever the dumb test said, I would be choosing where I would want to go in the end. But I had seen every faction and nothing really appealed to me. I had visit Abnegation, a place where many men and woman gave their services to help the weak, the homeless and the sick. It was foreign sight, but I felt a sense of awe at these selfless people. I could go about this place and fit in, but I felt disheartened at the idea of trying to be selfless every day.

Candor known for being the honest faction was refreshing. I was lifted in spirit at the embracing truth of the citizens there, but yet again laws seemed to dominate them. They seemed to be blind side by the reality. Only on paper did the world they help created seemed to provide a fair life.

Amity was the most calming and peaceful place. They work hard off the land and in the blistering sun. Everyone was so innocent and naïve. An almost garden of Eden to say and it was very tempting.

And Dauntless. My breath sudden caught at the thought when I venture out with the new recruits.

 _I can remember the wind whipping through my hair and the dust kicking up from my feet as I sprinted toward the train they all dove into. The train was picking up speed when my hand latched a side railing and thrust my body to the wall of the train._

 _Keeping a hold, I waited for their stop. But after fifteen minutes, the doors began to open and a huge building that was level to the train approached. They weren't stopping!_

 _As people began to leap off, my eyes landed on a hanging pipe line attached to the building; that was my target. Before my brain could scream out this was a bad idea, I leap forward and latched on as it shook violently. Only two feet away from the top, I slowly climbed the pipe feeling the restraints starting to become loose. My heart was racing now with adrenaline when I poked my head over the edge of the building and watch the last person jump over the other side of the edge._

 _Sweat poured down my back in the heat as I walked over the other side to witness a giant gaping hole. Did they all just jump down there? I asked myself unsure. Taking a deep breath, I stepped up onto the ledge. This was nuts. I must be nuts._

 _Stepping off, I fell through the air until the black hole swallowed me whole and suddenly I felt the tension of a safety net rather than the pavement I was imagining. Bouncing a bit, I smiled. I was alive. Rolling off the net, I snuck through the halls shadows and followed the sound of voices. Checking around the corner, I watched Dauntless circled around two people fighting each other. It was fascinating how they were learning the same training I had achieved in secret from my friend, Dr. Fredrick, who was brought up Dauntless._

" _What the hell are you do hiding here," A man with many piercing on his face grasped my arm tight and dragged me toward the commotion of Dauntless. Throwing me toward the mat, everyone eyed me up in curiosity. "This weakling was cowering in the corner." His cold eyes stared at me in amusement, "Fight Kia."_

 _Kia approached confidently and I had to admit she was more muscular than most girls I had seen. Kia circled around thrilled and immediately charged at me, thus I grasped her arm and used Kia's moment propelling her forward when tripping her. Shock lit her eyes as Kia tumbled to the ground._

 _When she gained her stance again, determination and frustration etched in her face. I guess she wasn't used to losing. With a quick jab I tried to side stepped her action, but failed. Apparently she was lefty, I deducted while getting punch in the face and then kicked on the side twice. I rolled to stand back up, feeling a rib not in place._

 _Kia smiled at me with victory and lunged another punch, but this time I was ready. Quickly latching onto her pinky, twist her arm back until hearing a sickening pop. Down on her knees, I thrust her face hard to the ground. She wasn't going anywhere with a disjointed arm._

 _The Dauntless leader that had found me, bent close to me with enjoyment. He whispered, "Keep going. Make her feel it."_

 _My eyes flickered over to him confused at his training. I had her pinned and heck in my rage I drew blood from her nose. And he wanted more?_

 _Under Kia's breath I could hear her pain being muffled. I wasn't cruel. Dauntless were there to protect._

 _Gently pushing her body down, the man stood up angered at my defiance. "Did I order you to stop?! You waste of skin…." Reaching out for my neck, I grasp the knife I had tucked behind my back._

 _As I was about to defend myself, someone jumped between us grasping my knife and hiding it from view. "Enough Eric," he said toward the man I hated. Grasping my hand, the other guy dragged me away until we were far from ear-shot distance._

 _The intervening Dauntless grasped my hand not seeing a cut. "What are you doing, with let alone a weapon, Mrs. Matthews?" I flinched at the name and pondered how he knew it? I didn't go by that last name. Platts was my last name, the name of my father._

" _How do you-?" I asked and he answered back, "Anyone with a brain would be able to know who you are. Again why are you here?"_

 _I stared up at the man and said the truth, "I came to see if I would want to join Dauntless. But now after that it's clear this isn't-"_

" _Kinder?" We both turned our heads over to the last person I never thought I see again._

 _There a tall, very muscular, handsome man with dark black hair and light brown eyes stood in shock. That's until his contagious smile emerged and seemed to be even brighter with his bronze skin. Lastly my eyes dropped to his collar of his shirt. There two claw marks peeked out from his shirt on his chest, letting the rest of his tattoos be shielded. My cheeks redden a bit at the thought of knowing his body so well._

" _You know her Zeke?" The man asked and Ezekiel nodded as if seeing a ghost and whispered back, "Yeah Four, I do. Do you mind, I'm going to take her back."_

 _A scream of a girl echoed the hall and Four nodded his head before returning back to the psycho. Glancing at the floor I said quietly, "I never found you at Candor."_

 _Ezekiel's hands tried to grasp mine and I moved away. "I'm sorry Kinder, I-"_

 _My heated face shot up to his handsome one, "I took a trip to find you after your initiation, but you weren't there. We made plans to both pick Candor. What happened, Zeke?"_

 _Ezekiel's face seemed to crumble as he whispered, "I was going to, but when the time came, I just couldn't choose it. I was brought up Dauntless and I know the ways. It's the only way to ensure I can support my family and help my brother not become factionless."_

 _I shoved his chest in anger, "Sometimes I swear you should have been in Abnegation with all your self-sacrificing."_

 _Placing his hands on my shoulder, "Please don't ever think I don't care for you. I just have other responsibilities."_

 _I knew I was being unfair and immature, but I was beyond hurt. "So I just get pushed to the side just like that. Didn't our future mean anything to you?"_

 _Ezekiel's positive attitude began to shine with hope. "God, no Kinder. I just know in my heart you can do this. You can make it through Dauntless. I'll be with you every step."_

 _I ran my fingers through my hair frustrated, "I can't do it." I couldn't take orders from a man like Eric or survive a day here without breaking the rules. I hated being told what to do. I stared at his melting brown eyes and I hugged him. "No matter how much I love you, this is too much."_

 _Stepping away, I turned around and he said wounded, "So this is it? After everything we've gone through? The risks we've taken to be with each other."_

 _My heart was breaking at his question. Somehow he was pinning this to be my fault? "What choose have you given me?"_

 _Pushing a strand of my blonde hair away, my whole being suddenly craved for his electrifying touch. Ezekiel pleaded, "I know, I'm being selfish. But I need you. I love you." He pulled his sleeve on his right hand away two brown birds dancing with each other. My finger gently traced the tattoo gently. Kinder spirits. "Always."_

" _I love you too. But I can't choice Dauntless. I'm not that strong as you believe. And with that being the case, then where do we go next? Meet once a year?"_

" _You don't think I won't be sneaking to see you more?" He smiled up at me mischievously. I should have smile, but I was still mad._

" _This is serious. I wanted more than fling. I wanted to be married, to have kids. And now, what? We'll keep those things secret too. This wasn't the future we talked about Zeke," I tried to not let sadness waiver in my voice._

 _He was tried to hold back his emotions as well, "I want those things too. We'll figure it out something. Okay," his eyes were burning with determination, "Nothing will keep us a part."_

" _It stopped you so far. It's been over a year since I heard from you," I replied feeling my negative emotions winding down._

 _His face became still with grief, "I wasn't allowed to leave till a full fledge member. But even if could," Ezekiel said with honesty, "I was afraid if you found out my choice you be upset." Oh, logic wasn't his forte. Yes, he hurt me by making a decision without me. But did he really think I make such a quick judgment on his happiness as well? The shock and abandonment is what killed me. We could have talked it out, but instead he ran._

 _Ezekiel pulled me into a hug and I hated it, but yet I love it. As if he could read my mind, he whispered in my ear, "I promise I won't make a decision without discussing it with you again." And there it was again. How could I trust him?_

" _I take promises more seriously than most," I mumbled and those hypnotic eyes stared into my soul. He was going to find a way to gain my trust again…._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Stepping up in line, I can hear Maeve and her friend jabbering about other factions problems. The girl said, "I don't understand why Abnegation runs our government. My parents keeping insisting that us, the intelligent ones, would be able to run our society smoothly." Tension between our factions was evident and was slowly being absorbed by the next generation.

My teeth clenched tighter until hearing my adoptive sister respond, "However smart we are, we do not live in the selfless life. Abnegation values the needs of others above of one self, thus they can be trusted to make the right decision for all of us."

Her friend's face pouted a bit at Maeve logic, but it gave me hope that Jeanine's influence hadn't corrupted my adoptive sister's mind yet. Turning to the hallway, we each stood by our testing door. As others began to walk through their door, a person grabbed my shoulder and I noticed a familiar friend of mine, Dr. Fredrick smiling at me.

"Come this way," he said leading me to another testing room. Dr. Fredrick was the man I had mention being a Dauntless-born before choosing ceremony. Honestly he was like a father to me.

Taking a seat on the uncomfortable chair, Dr. Fredrick said, "Kinder, did I ever tell you I knew your father before Erudite?"

I stared at him preparing a glass of clear liquid and I asked, "He was Dauntless?"

"He was," Dr. Fredrick pulled a chair over and added with a serious expression, "and he was the most fearless man I knew. Kinder there's a reason why he was so good." Wiping his face with his one hand, he said somber, "He was special and I believe that you might contain these certain passed down attributes as well. But the only way to tell is if you take this test."

"I don't understand, what do you mean special?" I was confused and a little on edge by his riddles.

"Kinder, he was divergent. And being one is a very dangerous around here. You can get killed." Divergent. I remember my mother explaining what that word meant. They were people that didn't fit into our five faction society, thus somehow opposed a threat to mess up the balance. After all how can a person be devoted to one faction if they are divergent?

He finally revealing the to me the truth and I barely whispered, "Is that what happened to my father?" I paled at the thought, _would my mother murder my own father?_

"I don't know," he handed me the cup and said, "Drink it and let's see."

 _I wasn't divergent. I know I wasn't._ I kept repeating in my mind as I slowly drank the serum. As if I just blink for a second, I was not in the well lit testing room. Standing up from the curb, the streets are empty and cars littered the floor. And that's when I saw a burning bus with a man sitting on the last step of the doorway. Cautiously I approached while observing the many burn scared on his face and he was staring at a newspaper until he noticed my presence.

"Are you okay? Do you need help?" I asked uncertain.

The man seemed to ignore my questions and turned the front page up to me asking desperately, "Do you know this man? He's the one responsible for my injuries." _Why do I have this feeling this injured man seem familiar to me? Could I trust him?_

He continued to ask, "Do you?" I glanced down at the paper and I felt flabbergasted seeing the man in the paper looked exactly like him.

"I don't know," I finally respond and the burned man face scrunched as he said, "You must have an inkling. Show me where he is."

 _I was stumped at how to react. Do I agree and lead him on a goose chase for nothing?_

I asked again, "Do you know him? Do you have a twin?" _Is it that you're crazy?_

The man was very confused at my questions, "No. Do you think family would do this to my face?!"

The man limped up and demanded, "Do you know where I can find him?"

He began to grasp my shoulders and shook me in anger, "You know, don't you. You're hiding him."

"No, no. I don't know him." It's freakin you, crazy! My mind screamed as I glanced over to a crow bar on the floor.

I tried breaking away from his harden embrace, "I can try helping you find him."

Finally I was able to gently push him away from me and before I could reach the crow bar, the man started to cry. He sobbed an apology out, "I'm sorry. I just, I just need help. Where can we find him?..."

Crack. Crack. Crack. My head pivot up toward the strange noise and there I realized the bridge was falling apart quickly. Glancing back to where the man I had encountered, I began to say, "We should get out of here."

But as I shift around, the man was nowhere in sight. Instead out in the distance, a child played happily with a doll on the ground. The bridge was now inclosing on us and before I could think of the terror of being crushed or escaping, I dove to cover he young child's body.

Suddenly I leaped forward out of breath and my eyes danced around to find I was back in the testing room with my old friend. His face was blank with awe and terror. Shaking his head, Dr. Fredrick finally answered, "Remarkable. You were supposed to narrow down a choice and your left with all of them."

Typing into the computer, he quickly said, "I'm putting you as Abnegation. I think you'll be the safest there." My face dropped a bit at the thought and he continued to say, "You can choose where ever you want to go, but I highly recommend not going Dauntless and Candor. Their final test will expose you."

Our time was running out as Dr. Fredrick gave me a hug. "Don't tell anyone of this. Not your friends, your loved ones and definitely not your family. No one can be trusted. Remember whatever you choose, think that way."

Like a deer in head lights, I was pushed out the door and escorted out of the testing building. After our test, we were now directed to go to the erudite building to wait for everyone to be done. But as my group was about to round the corner, a hand cupped over my mouth and I was pulled back into an alley. I was turned around in fright that the people who didn't welcome divergent found out already, but thankful my eyes relax in relief.

Quickly I hugged Ezekiel tightly and he laughed, "I guess you missed me."

My head pivoted up and I knew inside I was screaming to let him know I was endangered. That I felt unsafe. But Dr. Fredrick's words rang in the back of my mind, _Don't tell anyone of this. Not your friends, your love ones and definitely your family. No one can be trusted._

Ezekiel seemed intuitive that something was bothering me as he studied me with his alert expression. "What's wrong?"

Trying to put on a brave face, I responded, "Nothing. I got Abnegation."

"Abnegation?" He said with slight surprise. "Are you happy with that decision?"

I glanced down disheartened. No, I didn't want to go there. I answered truthfully, "No, I'm not."

Ezekiel lifted my head up to his and whispered, "Then you don't have to choose it. I want you to be happy were ever you decided to go."

"I'm happiest when I'm with you," I could barely whisper.

Ezekiel kissed my lips gently and I wanted more. Latching my arms around him, I pressed Ezekiel closer so I could deepen our kiss. I think I surprised him by my sudden passion, but it didn't take long for him to kiss me back with equal fervor. His dangerous lips broke away from my lips and trailed down my neck, leaving my gasping with lust.

Coming back up to my face, Ezekiel smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too Zeke," I whispered placing him into another hug. My eyes held back their tears. I had to be strong and think smart.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"The faction system is a living being. Composed of cells. All of you. And the only way it can survive and thrive is for each of you to claim your rightful place." I glanced down at my hands as my mother told her rehearsed speech again. _Except you divergents._ "The future belongs to those who know where they belong."

Slowly she left the stage and Marcus approached. He said, "When we leave this room you will no longer will be dependence, but full fledge members to our society. Faction before blood.

I mumbled under my breath with the crowd. "Faction before blood." _What a stupid idea_ , I thought as my gazed over to Ezekiel. He was sitting on the edge of his seat bouncing his one leg. He was nervous.

The names of initiators were slowly being called forth one by one and I tried to just focus on clearing my mind. I wanted to pretend I didn't exist, that nothing existed. "Kinder Platts."

My head snapped up in surprise that my time came so soon and Maeve squeezed my hand. I gave her a strained smile before walking down the stairs. Trying to breath, I could feel two stares pierce my back.

Ezekiel and Maeve.

Both of them wanted me with them. Both I did care for. But here I stood holding the knife with just myself in mind. Slitting my hand, I stared at my once faction before I placed it between to bowls of Dauntless and Abnegation. I craved to be with Ezekiel, but the risk was too much. I seriously doubt he would want to watch his divergent girlfriend be murdered before his eyes. Or worse him trying to risk his life to save me.

My hand let blood drip down into the bowl of my choosing. I had to stay alive to fight another day; A fight to be with Ezekiel once again without the danger of our lives hanging in the balance.

The crowd began to clap as it was announced, "Abnegation." _I know ironic, that my selfish way to survive was going to the selfless place,_ I thought guilty _._

Somehow instead of feeling liberated like I dreamed when reaching the choosing ceremony, I was again trap thanks to my mother's witch hunt. Taking a seat, I kept myself composed.

"Maeve Matthews." Watching my younger sister walked timidly to the stage and I watched her struggle for a second before cut her hand swiftly. "Erudite."

Before I knew it, we were moving out with our new factions. And that's the last time I saw Ezekiel with his disappointed and confused expression.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Arriving to Abnegation had been a rude awaking to me. Walking down the dirt road between rows upon rows of grey identical homes, we were being lead to a small platform. Standing on the platform was the council of elders including Marcus Eaton. "Welcome new initiates. We are happy for your choice to serve." He moved closer with a smile, "Abnegation born may continue to live with your families. As for the new transfers, you will be taking under our volunteer wings to help guide you in our ways. Each of you will go under 30 days of volunteer work and once completed we shall initiate you as full members of our faction."

I heard one of the transfers from Candor ask under his breath, "Will they tell us what volunteering work we have to do?" _It was a good question as well as who would we be taking us in?_

"Abnegation born go home and get further instructions on your service. Transfers, I will call your name and introduce your adoptive family that will take you in for the time being." I glanced around only seeing four of us. Not many really choose the life of self-sacrifice. "Aaron Wright." He was the Candor transfer and made his way up to a family of four. My palms began to sweat not knowing who I would be ending up with.

"Kinder Platts," my name was called and my heart began to race. Walking slowly to the stand, I witnessed three people. A tall, lean man hunched over a bit, which had a cane to accommodate this lean. He had a very stern expression, one I was used to at my old home. Next to him was a woman, close to his age, I assumed to be his wife. She gave a small smile, but her eyes seem constricted with remorse. And finally was a young boy that observed me with curiosity.

Nodding their heads, the older man said, "Hello Miss. Platts. I'm Bernard Gardener, this is my wife, Connie, and our son, Eugene. Let us go." Following their lead quietly, we went down seven houses before he opened their home up to me. "Connie, take her up to her room and get her ready."

His wife nodded her head obediently and again I followed her up the stairs to a room on the left. There grey baggy robes lay on top of the bed and I stared at four blank walls. It was worst than Erudite.

After getting changed into my new wardrobe, she slowly pinned my hair up into a bun. "There," she quietly said and I turned around to see Connie grab my clothes and shoes.

"What will you do with them?" I asked and she stiffly responded, "We will recycle them to help make blankets for the Factionless. Don't speak." I nodded my head shocked by her hostile tone and we returned back to the living room. Her husband nodded his head in approval and said, "Better. Let's eat some supper and get to bed. You have a long day tomorrow."

Sitting at the table, Bernard explained for my benefit, "There are a few rules you need to learn. For one, when we dine at the table, we always pass food to the right," I quickly stopped my action to take some food and placed my hands in my lap, "and wait to eat until everyone is served."

His wife added sternly, "And children are not supposed to speak at the dinner table unless their parents ask them a direct question." I raised an eyebrow afraid to speak after Connie's threat. Last time I checked they weren't my parents.

Bernard seemed to pick up my questioning eyes, "We believe listening ears are a gift to us parents, and after dinner parents give their gift of their listening ears in the living room."

Connie stared me down as her husband began to list more rules. "We don't possess any luxury items, you can't look in the mirrors for long period of time, and the showers are also timed because we don't want to waste water and no alcohol as if you could find it here." He laughed a bit before his wife glared at him, "At dinner parties everyone helps out. We don't speak our minds and share our ideas to the public. And we definitely don't gossip."

Connie finally added, "In Abnegation we strongly discourage self-enjoyment except when helping others. So no physical affection is allowed, understand girl. Just keep quiet, don't attract attention to yourself and do your service work."

I nodded in agreement and she smiled in satisfaction at my silence. But honestly I really didn't have anything to worry about. I wasn't really a vain person; most time I throw my hair into a ponytail without looking in a mirror. And if she thought I was going to be promiscuous or tried to be noticeable, Connie was dead wrong. This divergent wanted to blend in the background for good and be with only one person.

After dinner I helped clean up and went to bed. Closing the door, I leaned back trying to breath. This was my new life and somehow I already felt like I was drowning. Quickly I opened my window and stared at the blinking stars above. I just have to make it through 30 days and then I be able to be on my own. Without crazy Connie on my back. A nice breeze crested my face and I just imagine a place where I could be free with Ezekiel.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Banging on my door, I bolted up sweating profusely. "Kinder, time to get ready." Connie yelled as she burst the door open. Trying to control my rapid breathing, Connie glanced up to see me rattled. For the first time, I saw some empathy as she asked, "Are you sick?"

She placed her hand on my forehead and I responded, "No. I just had a bad dream." Connie nodded her head and grasped a dry towel. "Here," she said and I started to wipe the sweat away from me.

"Thank you," I replied in appreciation. Her calculating eyes glanced away from me and she got up saying, "Be ready down the stairs in two minutes."

Already I was changed in my clothes and my hair in a messy bun, so I just lay back onto the uncomfortable twin bed. What time was it? The sun wasn't even out yet.

Getting up to follow my orders, I stepped out into the hallway to notice four bed rooms. _Did this married couple stay in separate rooms? Weird._ Going down the stairs to the living room, Bernard announced, "Eugene is going to take you to Miss. Teresa for your volunteer work."

I nodded my head again and I followed the young Eugene, who looked seven or eight perhaps. Walking out with the streets lit by lanterns light, I asked the boy, "How long do I volunteer for the day?"

He smiled at me, "Whenever she says you're done. I help my pa out cutting wood for the winter until dinner time." In return he asked, "Why did you come here?"

"I want to help people," I finally answered even though he doubted my reason. The sun was now poking above the horizon and we ended up at home with different plants loitering the yard. Knocking on the door, an elderly woman popped her head out and her blue eyes flashed with excitement. "Miss. Platts, do come inside." I nodded my head over to Eugene and said, "Thanks," before entering the home.

"I'm so glad you're here, Miss. Platts. I have so much to pack up for today's trip." The woman handed me a list and stated, "Go over into that cabinet and collect everything on the list." She placed a bag in front of me, "Place them in her my dear. I'm going to get my medicines ready."

Glancing down the list as I walked over the cabinet she instructed for me to go into, I noticed many medical items listed; gauze, tape, stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, band aids, antiseptics, scissors, scalpel knife, needle and thread.

Closing the bag up, Miss. Teresa carried out a bunch of herbs and plants grounded up in glass tubes. Placing her stuff into another bag, she said excited, "Ready for work?"

I nodded my head, though in the back of my mind I was slightly nervous. What work? Grabbing both bags, Miss. Teresa gave a pleasing smile and led me out of her home. "A lot Factionless come to us, but some can't, so we are going out to the city."

After walking over five miles, we had made it to the main part of the city and out yonder a group of people seemed to be getting riled up and standing close to a Dauntless force. Miss. Teresa whispered, "This doesn't look good."

When edging closer I could hear, "We were here first and were not moving. You can't make us."

"By orders, you must go back to your boundaries or be punished by law. Now please, revert back to you jurisdiction."

Miss. Teresa approached, "What may be the problem here gentlemen?"

Another man retorted, "None of you business stiff. This is a Dauntless concern." I knew that voice oh so well. Eric. Glancing away, I hoped he wouldn't recognize me.

People were shouting and the tension was rising out of control. I felt like I was being swallowed by the crowd. Eric's eyes were about to land on me till suddenly the sound of a gunshot silent everyone and all eyes seemed to land on a Dauntless holding a gun in surprise. He said white as a ghost, "He grabbed for my gun. I didn't, I-" Even though it was an accident, Miss. Teresa checked on the dead man as the blood crept to my shoes. I felt sick.

Before I knew it, everything broke out chaotic and I was punch by a missed attack on the man next to me. With the surprised force, I twirled to the ground hard hearing more gun shots go off. Raising my throbbing head up, the world was spinning and blurry. The only thing that stayed constant was the piercing noise of the near shot ringing through my ears. Even when I pressed my ears, the noise the high pitch tone wouldn't dissipate.

Trying to focus on my surrounds, I crawled on my knees to escape the battle field. With my hearing coming back, I could hear Miss. Teresa say my name. Without a hitch, she placed her hand on my waist to lift me up to my feet. She was directing me away from the action before the sound of a woman called out for help. Both of us stop to observe a Dauntless woman holding her shaky hand toward us. Quickly, Miss. Theresa grasped my hand and placed it onto the girl's neck that was gushing blood. "Stay with her. I'll get my bag."

I couldn't protest with her disappearing from my view. Glancing back with the world become one again, the Dauntless woman was crying as blood covered my hand. Her glassy eyes search my frozen ones. She said, "I'm dying. I'm going to die."

Placing my free hand into hers, I firmly said, "You're not going to if you don't give up. Miss. Teresa is going to get you better." Surprisingly I wasn't shaking like I thought I would be. In that moment, I was to focus on her pain of the wounded woman to notice my pity terrorized feelings. Thankfully a few seconds later, Miss. Teresa reappeared into view with her bag. Quickly she worked on the Dauntless woman that held onto my hand tightly. Another Dauntless soldier approach to our aid and when she was stabled, her partner lifted up to take her to a medical facility.

Glancing up, the Dauntless back up had finally arrived and many of the Factionless were now on their knees with hands on their heads. Again I only held assistance to Miss. Teresa, who no doubly had more medical knowledge on stitching up wounds, splinting a leg, reattaching an ear and so on.

I had counted now three killings and eleven injured as we made way around. And every time I noticed a Dauntless cold body on the ground, I held my breath. And sadly enough, I was pleased because it wasn't Ezekiel.

Finally sitting on a curb, I drank a little bit of water from the canteen Miss. Teresa offered and she stated, "I'm sorry for you being dragged into this today. I was hoping for you to see some soars or cuts, but you did phenomenally."

I wasn't really responding much still feeling shocked from today's incident. "What happens to them?"

Miss Teresa said after taking the water I offered her now, "Most of them will go back to their sectors, but a few of them will be put on trial." Giving me a hand to stand up, "I think today was enough service work. You can go home to relax if you like."

"Do I have to report back home right away?" I boldly asked and she laughed, "I don't care what you do. Just stay out of trouble and if I know the Gardner's be home before 5 for dinner."

Nodding my head, we both walked back to our faction and parted our ways. For the first time, I felt free and able to proceed my day with some motivation. Rounding the corner, I noticed stables and curiously I wandered close to find actual horsed in a few stalls.

"Hey," a voice called out and I realized it was the transfer Candor boy. He smiled at me and said, "I'm Aaron, Aaron Wright. Your Kinder Platts right?"

I nodded my head and I asked, "Do you work here for your volunteering?"

"Yeah, I'm the one and only stable boy." He shrugged his shoulders and added, "It's not so bad though, unlike you? Do you work with the butcher or a murderer?"

I slightly smirked at realization my whole smock and hands were bloody as could be. "I was helping the wounded today." Seeing a bucket of water I asked, "Do you mind if I wash up?"

Aaron shook his head, "No go ahead. I'll get more water at the stream later." He shuffled hay around the one empty stall and asked, "So how are you adjusting here?"

Cleaning my hands from the blood residue, I responded, "Okay, I guess. How about you?"

He smiled over to me with his red hair, "Honestly, it's kind of lonely how everyone keeps to themselves. I'm so used to people saying the first thing to mind. There never was once a dull moment of silence." He sighed, "It's hard to keep my mouth shut."

"Seems like one heck of a choice you picked," I said joking as I tried soaking the blood from the smock Miss. Teresa gave me on our walk to the city.

"Well, I've lived in a world where people discussed, dissected and argued what the truth is and best solutions are to our world problems. But when I sat in front of those bowls, I had this epiphany. I didn't want to just circle around our problems with words, I wanted to take action." He rested his head on the pitch fork, "I want to actually make a difference and see the results; even if it's now just cleaning the stables."

Shaking my head, I responded, "You're very deep."

He laughed, "Yeah knee-deep in shit." Aaron glanced over to me and asked, "Why did you come? From what I've heard, Erudite and Abnegation don't see eye to eye well."

Ringing out my smock I said, "I don't get into politics. I just wanted to help like you." Glancing out past the land, I could just see the stream flowing in the wood area. Something in black caught my eye for a second. If I hadn't known better I say Ezekiel was out there now. I asked half mindedly, "What time do you have?"

Raising his watch, the only possession deemed alright for Abnegation, Aaron responded, "Four-thirty."

Nodding my head I said leaving Aaron, "Thank you. See you around." I didn't want to be late for dinner. That was a no no.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Passing around the chicken and vegetables at the table, Mr. Gardener asked me, "How did your first day go in service?"

"Good," I responded and watched everyone eat before I dipped into my dish. I was too excited that Ezekiel was waiting for me, to answer his question with more detail. Shoveling my food in my mouth, his whole family seemed to stare at me. Wiping my lips with a napkin, I said, "Thank you for the meal. I'll clean up my mess."

I was about to get up when Connie said, "Excuse me. Sit down at once." My hazel eyes stared at her out lash. Why was she getting anger? I offered to clean my plate. Sitting back down, she said, "You can leave when you are excuse from the table."

"Come on Connie," Bernard said quietly, "the girl is just tired."

His wife gave Bernard a cold stare and replied, "She can wait till we are all done eating. How else is she to learn our ways?"

Bernard's mouth pressed together, "She was polite to thank us for food and offered to clean up. What more is there to our ways?" Connie mouth puckered sour as he said, "Clean you dish and you can retire to bed, Miss. Platts."

I bowed my head and whispered, "Thank you."

Retreating to the sink to clean my dish and silverware I overheard Connie's whispers, "I let you volunteer us to take this Erudite into our home and now you're letting her slid away with this. We never let Eugene do this."

Bernard sighed, "I expect Eugene to know this idea by now. This is all new to her Connie. And she will learn over time."

Placing my dish away, I nodded my head and said, "Thank you again. Good night."

Mr. Gardener smiled in appreciation as his wife gave me a cold nod. Turning toward the stairs, I flew to my room and closed the door. _If looks could kill I be dead by now_ , I thought annoyed. Connie didn't like that I was from the Erudite faction that's for sure.

 _Oh well._ I rolled my eyes. I had more important things to think about. Like Ezekiel waiting for the opportune moment to see me. Opening my window wide, I search in the darken land. Nothing yet. Pivoting around, I walked over and sat on the edge of my bed to kick off my so called shoes. Gingerly I rubbed my bloody blister heels. Comfort was a foreign word in Abnegation.

Lighting a candle by my bed, I waited for Ezekiel to figure away to climb up to my window. Slowly I sprawled out on my bed and for the first time my bed didn't seem so uncomfortable as before. Amazing how things changed when your body was fully exhausted. My candle lost a quarter of its length as I blew it out. Pulling my blanket up to my neck, I tried to think back. Maybe I had mistaken the shadow. Maybe it was an animal? Either way he wasn't coming. Tears spilled down my face as I silently cried myself asleep. I missed him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

I wasn't fully awake and yet not fully asleep. You know the state where you're just in a light sleep. _I had to get up_ , I told myself. I didn't want Connie barging in again. Sitting up groggy, I wiped my sleepy eyes and witnessed a simple flower lying on the floor. Slipping out of bed, I walked over and my hand gently lifted the flower to my nose.

Why would Ezekiel not say hi to me, but leave a flower? I smiled sadly and hid my flower in my pocket. Quickly I throw on my smock and shoes, then quickly placed my hair up in a bun the best I could. Opening the door, I caught Connie about to knock on my door hard. "Good morning," I said cheery and ducked around her surprised body.

Making my way down the stairs, Mr. Gardener getting ready for his day, threw an apple at me. "You at least need something in your stomach." He added, "Good luck again."

I smiled toward him and walked down the path devouring the apple in hand. I had a good feeling today. When reaching Miss. Teresa household, I knocked and heard her muffle voice yell, "Come in."

Opening the door, I poked my head inside to see Miss. Teresa sitting in a chair. Waving me over I took a seat across from her. She said, "I think for today I'm going to give you some basic training. It'll be the only way to help you take care of people."

She handed me a sack, a needle and a thread. "Start closest from you and work away from yourself. Keep close to the edge as possible because it's most likely to be numb."

Miss. Teresa guided my actions as she said, "We will start to the left of the wound with an initial holding stitch." Piercing the left side of the hole in the sack, she continued to instruct, "Insert the needle downwards through the skin. At this point you will need to level off the needle and venture through the wound and to the adjacent wall of the wound. Once across the other side of the wound return the needle to the skins surface and continued back in forth in a diagonal path."

Letting me in control of the needle Miss Teresa kneeled next to me. She finally said before letting me sew away, "Remember we need the needle to go deep enough as to not release the skin through a tear. And keep the stitches close."

Nodding my head in understanding, I began to sew the seam together. I asked, "How do you know so much of this?"

Miss. Teresa smiled as she began to water the many plants in pots. "Surprising or not, my grandmother was an Erudite. She lived and breathed medical knowledge and when the time came, she past her knowledge down to my father and then me."

"Have you lived here your whole life," I was intrigued to know more about a person that would actually talk to me.

"I have," she smiled while looking around. "My grandmother treasured this home, especially after all my father's work to create the garden of herbs in the front."

Taking another stitch I replied sincerely, "Your home is so tranquil and homey with all the plants around. I wish my room could be like this."

"There are always ways to bend the rules, Miss. Platts. I would know with my rebellion days." She tapped her head, "Just remember god gave you this."

I smiled a bit at the mention of rebellion days. I could remember back when I was fourteen and my two best friends had already decided that they wanted to be Dauntless two years before the aptitude test would give them their results.

 _Stephanie told me as we walked down the dark streets, "I heard about this warehouse that a lot of Dauntless hang around. We should totally check it out."_

 _My other friend, Tom, shook his black set of hair, "You mean you want to check out the Dauntless men, Steph."_

 _Stephanie smiled coyly as she responded, "Maybe. I do love a bad boy."_

" _Won't we stick out," I pulled at our mostly blue clothing and Stephanie sparkled a gleam in her eyes. We were in trouble, I thought. Opening the bag she had been carrying, she responded, "Not when I get done with you guys." She looked at me, "Honestly you just have to lose the blazer and top."_

 _I glanced over to Tom with a smile and he said, "This doesn't sound good."_

 _After sneaking into the warehouse by scaling a high chain length fence and flinging ourselves through a small window, we walked to the edge of the railing of the surrounding inside balcony. There many Dauntless were jumping and dancing to music, while others were drinking and arm wrestling by the bar set up. This was pretty awesome._

" _Well shall we," Stephanie asked fully excited to join the fun. With both of us smiling, we descended down the metal stairs. And that's when everything changed. We drank and danced. Stephanie competed with a tequila contest with other Dauntless and I watched her giggle as the one boy licked the salt off her belly. Tom was lost somewhere in the crowd, grinding with other girls._

 _Feeling the want for another drink, I proceeded across the room and picked another beer from the cooler. As I was about to turn back, I suddenly lost my drink when being bumped forward. It was only a matter of seconds when my face was only suspended an inch from the ground that the person, who knocked me off my feet, lifted my body back up gently. The man's smooth voice said worried, "Sorry about that. I guess my coordination and dance moves don't coincide."_

 _Twisting my body to him, I observed the boy with shock. He was that good looking. He was tall, well taller than my short self, and well built. The boy's dark black hair was buzzed and it had a few designs etched on the sides. A tattoo peeked out from his shirt a bit from his chest. But what caught my attention the most was his warm light brown eyes._

 _He stuck his hand out, "I'm Zeke." Ezekiel then grabbed another beer for me and added, "I never seen you before. What's your name?"_

 _I laughed inside, knowing I didn't even know myself if I looked in a mirror now. Stephanie had done an amazing job giving me a loose black tank to wear with my black pants and boots, placing red extensions throughout my hair making it vibrant and long, drawing my eyeliner darker than I would ever wear it, and also painting a fake tattoo on my arm. I looked Dauntless._

 _Taking the beer from his hands, I replied, "It's okay. It's not like I'm anything special to remember. The name is Kinder."_

 _Ezekiel smiled over to me making my hear flutter, "No, I definitely remember a beautiful woman if I saw her." He shrugged off his jacket and handed it to me._

 _I stared at him confused, "I'm not cold."_

 _Taking a gulp of his beverage, he laughed. "I know, but I thought maybe you like to cover up the blob of a once tattoo." My eyes shot down in horror with my tattoo completely smeared. Quickly, I shifted into his leather jacket and it smelled good. Nothing beats the smell of leather and cologne._

 _Ezekiel studied me with a smirk and finally said, "Don't worry. You're not going to get kicked out. A lot more kids from Erudite come here all the time."_

 _I leaned in closer to him and asked, "How do you know I'm Erudite? I could be Candor."_

 _Ezekiel gave me a look and took another swig. "I highly doubt a Candor would be able to lie and try to deceive others."_

 _I literally could smack myself at how stupid I sounded right now. I think drinking was interfering with my thinking process. He continued to say, "And you're not Dauntless, I would know. Abnegation doesn't approve alcohol. And Amity definitely wouldn't like to party with us."_

 _Before I could say why, the sound of a commotion echoed and two boys that were drunk began to duke it out. Yeah, Amity wouldn't be fond of the fighting. Ezekiel finally concluded, "So you're Erudite. A tipsy Erudite."_

 _I shook my head and joked, "Are you sure you're not Erudite. You're a lot smart than I thought."_

 _Ezekiel laughed as his brown eyes laid on me, "Thanks for the compliment, I think? You're a lot braver than I thought. Who comes alone?"_

 _I blushed as I responded lamely, "I didn't. My friend's are somewhere around here." I added trying to make small talk, "They already know they want to go to the dark side."_

 _He choked on his drink when hearing my comment and finally cleared his throat. "Is that so?" He leaned closer to my body as well and asked, "Are you going to join the dark side as well?"_

 _I stared into his mesmerizing eyes and smirked. "I don' know. Are there any benefits joining?" Inside I was giggling like a giddy kid. Never had I met a boy that wasn't so serious. I liked this playful side._

 _His eyes bounced up and down with joy, "Would you like me to show you the Dauntless way?"_

 _I backed up a bit suddenly surprised and blurted out, "We're not talking about sex right?"_

 _Well if I hadn't almost killed him with his drink, this might have. Practically hacking up a lung, he shook his head firmly. With a hoarse voice Ezekiel said, "No. No. I didn't. I didn't mean it like that…I just thought you like to do Dauntless fun."_

" _Oh," I felt slightly embarrassed by my statement before and replied, "Okay."_

 _Ezekiel yelled out for the crowd, "Gambol time."_

 _Many in the crowd cheered back, "Gambol! Gambol! Gambol!"_

 _Quickly about thirty kids ran upstairs toward the windows and Ezekiel grabbed my hand to follow. Climbing out onto the window ledge, Ezekiel jump forward with grace and grasped the metal fence. Reaching his hand out, I leap quickly and somehow I latched onto the fence with Ezekiel pulling me close to make sure I didn't fall. Smiling at him I responded, "I got this."_

 _Nodding his head with an I-can't-believable-your-an-erudite look, we crawled down and ran through the streets. And that's when I saw it, a tall towering building still being constructed. A lot Dauntless were loading themselves up onto a power man lift and began to be hoisted up and scale the building._

 _Ezekiel said with awe, "They have been remodeling this building since I was a kid."_

 _"How high is it?" I asked with the same awe._

 _He smiled over to me, "Originally about six hundred meters, but with the construction we've gained about another two hundred meters."_

 _I stepped forward excited, "It must be an amazing view."_

 _Ezekiel sounded surprised, "Would you like to go up?"_

 _Shaking my head yes, Ezekiel escorted me to the lift and it began to carry us up with three other Dauntless. I was kind of regretting it when the one drunk Dauntless was doing stupid things like climbing on the railing and yelling to the world. Ezekiel suddenly tensed up as he jumped up and down on the cart now._

" _Hey will you knock it off," Ezekiel said in a clipped tone._

 _Of course, the immature boy jumped higher and replied slurred, "What you a little scared."_

 _Ezekiel's hands were turning white from the tight fist he was making and he responded angry, "Not as much as you will be if I throw you off of here."_

 _Pushing the others aside, the dumb ass kid jumped right in front of Ezekiel's face to taunt him. "You still don't like this." He began to shake the cart more and Ezekiel finally did a quick jab to his gut. Ezekiel said, "Brent shouldn't be here. He too intoxicated."_

 _After Brent got up from puking, anger flashed in the drunk's eyes toward Ezekiel. As Brent lashed out and tumbled his body forward toward us, Ezekiel coolly shifted in front of me and then propelled Brent's head into the railing, thus knocking him out cold._

 _The other two Dauntless stared astonished and it made me wonder if they were new transfers. Ezekiel shook his head and said, "Are you friends with him?"_

 _They nodded their head no and Ezekiel replied short, "Take him back to quarters and get him sobered up anyway." The lift finally stopped and only Ezekiel and I walked onto the construction site floor to the others Dauntless yelling. He pointed toward a crane hanging out of the building and I noticed a person standing on the top._

" _What are they doing?" I asked confused if this was Dauntless fun or a suicide attempt._

 _Ezekiel smiled at me waiting for a reaction, "Wait for it." The person in the shielded helmet jumped off the crane. Leaning over the wall, I watched in terror and fascination as the person plummet to the ground doing flips in the air. Getting closer to the earth, a parachute deployed out and the Dauntless person landed on the street raising their helmet up in cheer._

 _The Dauntless crowd up here yelled out, "Gambol! Gambol!"_

 _A older boy said, "Whose next?!"_

 _A couple, holding each other's hands, stepped forward and both climbed to the top of the crane and then out onto the extend ledge. Somehow they were hooking each other together and I watched again people jumping off the crane. "Have you done this before?" I asked Ezekiel and he responded, "Yes, about five times." The crowd cheered again and he added, "There nothing like it."_

" _Who's next?!" The guy bellow and I pushed forward with Ezekiel._

" _We are." I shouted and Ezekiel pulled me back a bit and said stunned, "You want to do this?"_

 _I nodded my head firmly and I continued to the edge where we would have to climb up the crane's height. Turning my head back with a smile, I watched Ezekiel put the pack on and strap it tight to himself. Handing us both helmets, I was feeling so pumped to do this. To do something my mother would never approve for Erudite behavior. I was going to be free and reckless._

 _Climbing carefully to the top of the crane, I tried to catch my breath from the height. I felt so puny standing up so high. Hearing Ezekiel coming up from behind me, I began to cross to the cranes level walk way to the edge. He said, "I'm giving you more credit. You're definitely much braver."_

 _I laughed, "You sound like this is your first time."_

 _Ezekiel now behind me again responded, "It kind of is. At least with another person."_

 _Twisting my body I asked, "You never did this with another?"_

 _He smiled with cheeks redden. "No, I haven't."_

" _Are you regretting do this?"_

 _Ezekiel stood right in front of my body only inches away from my face and replied intensely, "Never will." He turned my body back and began to latch me to his chest. Checking on every strap, he then pulled them tightly, thus feeling his solid body closer to mine. Flipping my face mask down, I heard Ezekiel say, "Do you trust me?"_

 _Looking over the edge, I responded, "Yes."_

 _Suddenly we were air born and wind whipped past us as we dived down. "Ready?" I heard Ezekiel howl before spinning us in spiral rotations until Ezekiel spread his body out slowing down our fall. Putting my hands out too, I felt like we were flying. For the 700 meters, the time seemed to fly quickly with the ground approaching closer to view. Within seconds, Ezekiel pulled the cord and we floated down to the street._

 _When we landed, Ezekiel detached the parachute and lifted his helmet up and I followed in suit with him. I could hear the Dauntless cheer and we threw our stuff into a bin. I practically danced with my feet as I said with adrenaline running through my veins, "That was freaking' awesome!"_

 _Pivoting up to Ezekiel, I swayed into his body smiling. His firm arms held me steady and he responded pleased, "That was crazy." The day light was breaking out over the horizon and I realized my friend's and I had stayed up all night._

" _I should go," I whispered not wanting the night to end. His brown eyes searched mine and he asked a question I wanted to hear._

" _When can I see you again?"_

" _I don't know, but I'm pretty sure if this is meant to be, I'll be seeing you again," I whispered and Ezekiel smirked, "Leaving it all up to faith." Kissing my hand, Ezekiel said, "We'll meet again. Bye Kinder."_

 _And like that he took off, climbing up to the train tracks as a train was passing by. I last watched Ezekiel jump aboard and poke his head out watching me disappear from view._

Without realizing it, I was stroking my hand at just the thought of his lip against my hand again. "Alright, Miss. Platts, let me see you stitches." I handed over my work and Miss. Teresa eyes examined it with a smile. Her fingers guided up from my beginning stitches to the end. "You started out to far and the stitch had too much gaps, but up here these stitches are great. I want you to take a few things home with you tonight."

She handed me a bag and placed more ruined sacks, which carry the flour for the community, needle and thread. "I want you to read this as well," she placed a book into the bag and finally grasped a small plant from her shelf.

Miss. Teresa smiled as she handed it over to me, "This is Verbena. Not only is it stimulating to the eye, but it has medical uses as well. Taking a few of these leaves in tea will help colds, sore throats or respiratory tract diseases."

Leaning close to the plant with little purple flowers, I smelled the strong sense of lemon and Miss. Teresa added, "It's a very soothing remedy." Standing up she said, "Now I say your time is up. You've patched over fifty bags."

As I grasped the bag and plant, I said concerned, "Miss. Teresa, with all do respect, won't I be in trouble? We aren't allowed to have possessions."

Miss. Teresa shook her head and said, "These aren't just things. These are tools. Miss. Platts you need to understand. We don't have to be guilty when learning, cooking, gardening plants or whatever hobby. We can enjoy those things because we know what they are for. I use these plants to help others and ultimately that makes me happy. That's how Abnegation lives, Miss. Platts."

Understanding her ideas, I was left feeling slightly up lifted and liberated. I could grow a garden to make my own herbs for healing. Maybe being in Abnegation wouldn't be so bad. And yet, my eyes still wandered in hoped for the man I fell in love with.

Trailing back to my living quarters, I found no one home, so I went up to my room. Placing my plant on the small table by my bedside, I started to practice my stitches with more of the sacks. The medical aspect Miss. Teresa was showing me was fascinating, but as silly as it was, I didn't want to seek theses situation only if it was a necessary thing. I didn't want to see a person die on my hands.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Waking up suddenly from a nightmare, I realized I was in my bed with many sacks and a needle and thread littering at my feet. _I must have fallen asleep_ , I thought as rubbed my eyes to the still day lit room. Making my way down the stairs, I noticed Mrs. Gardener sitting in the arm chair pensively thinking and the rest of the house was quiet. Clearing my throat for her attention, her eyes glared over with hate. I was now regretting coming down. But I still said what I wanted to say before getting a mean look, "I was wondering if you need help with dinner tonight."

She leaned forward with her lips pursed, "Not many are ever cast out Abnegation, but still it can happen." She tossed a flower I found in my bedroom last night before my feet. "But I will not tolerate you indulging in materialist ways." She stood up and towered over me, "If I see another plant like that one in your room now, you shall be punished."

"But-" I at least wanted to explain the plant in my room, but I never got that far. Smack. My hand clasped over my redden slinging cheek in alarm.

She whispered in anger, "Did I tell you, you could speak child?!"

"Connie what are you doing?" A voice echoed through the home as Bernard limped inside with their son behind him.

Her wild eyes shot over to her husband, "Stop protecting her Bernard. She isn't one of us and never could be. I found her sleeping in her room hoarding flowers for herself."

"Silent." Bernard demanded abruptly, throwing Connie through a loop. "Miss. Platts, did you go to your community service today with Miss. Teresa?"

I nodded my head and he asked, "Where did you get the plant from?" He encouraged me, "You can answer."

"Miss. Teresa. It's a plant for sore throats." I answered quietly.

Bernard finally said, "She let you go early today."

I kept my eyes down, "Yes. Though I was instructed to stitch more bags up for flour today at home."

Hearing him sigh, Bernard told me, "Nothing has been violated. You can retire to your room Miss. Platts. I'm sorry for my wife's actions."

I ducked my head shocked and climbed the stairs back to my room hearing Connie yelling at her husband. No matter what I would do, I would never be right in Connie's eyes. I was Erudite. To mother I was a bad egg. Again I didn't belong.

Later on there was a knock on my door and I choked out in fear, "Come in."

Eugene entered the room carrying a tray of food and placed it onto the table by my bed. Glancing down at the floor he said, "I hope you can forgive our behavior. My mother hasn't been well since my older brother left us."

My eyes searching his broken demeanor, "What happened to him?"

Biting his lip and whispered, "I shouldn't be saying this, but to me your family since you choice Abnegation. You deserve to know where my mother's anger and pain are come from." Eugene paused for a moment, "When another fight broke out, like the other one from yesterday, my brother was suspected for starting it. Erudite took him away with other men to be killed for their actions. I highly doubt the trial was fair because I know he was innocent. He guarded me the whole time till the fight ended."

My eyes water up as I finally said, "You have nothing to forgive for. I know pain and fear can change the best people." Or the worse.

Fear was the reason why my mother fought so hard. Jeanie was afraid of the unknown and the factions failing. She believed our system would be the reason for the human race to continue strongly. And in her eyes, Abnegation was un-deserving of their power and lacking its purpose to serve the system like me. A divergent.

"Thank you," I replied quietly and Eugene nodded his head and left. Resting my head back, I closed my eyes just thinking about the old days where I had captured some happiness.

 _My hazel eyed flickered up to find Ezekiel peeking over the roof at me. "So did I convince you enough that Dauntless is the place for you?"_

 _I shifted my books in my arm as I watched Ezekiel flip off the roof's eave to his feet. I smiled as I joked, "Is that all you do? Jump off buildings and such."_

" _Okay I still have to change your mind then. Later tonight meet me on Oak and Carter Street."_

 _Ezekiel said walking next to me and I told him, "I have to study for my test… though."_

" _Though," Ezekiel added mocking._

 _I blushed as he blocked me between a brick wall and his body. "Maybe, I could skip one night of studying. I do deserve a break."_

 _Taking a quick glance around, he kissed my cheek while leaving his jacket in my other hand. He said, "I'll see you at 7 then."_

 _It was hard for me to keep a smile off my face than day; especially when people around here didn't really do that often._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Hearing the floor creak quietly, I grasped the recent knife I swiped from my dinner tray. I never want to be caught off guard when my life was endangered. The bed slowly sunk under someone's weight and quickly I raised the knife up. But the man blocked my arm and flicked a lighter on.

There Ezekiel sat next to me with his exploring concerned eyes. His hand gently pushed the knife away and he lit the candle. Turning his attention back to me, Ezekiel's warm hand guided up to my bruised cheek. _He was real. Not just another dream_ , my mind announced feeling his touch. Quickly I hugged him tight to me. I never wanted to let him go again.

Breaking apart from the hug I was about to speak, but Ezekiel placed a finger to my lips and then pointed to the window. Nodding my head in understanding, he guided me out of the building and down to the stables. As we enter the stables, Ezekiel kissed my lips with gust. I didn't mind. I missed our physical aspect.

"Zeke you came back," I whispered during his kisses.

His head rested on mine and said, "I told you nothing is keeping me away from you. Ezekiel's hand touched my face upset and he demanded, "Who did this to you?"

"Don't you know people aren't fond of Erudite here," I said quietly.

Studying me, Ezekiel asked, "Who's after you?"

I sighed in frustration, "I can't tell you. I want to Ezekiel, but I can't with the situation I'm in."

Shaking his head, Ezekiel blurted out, "Why did you choice this faction? You told me you didn't want it." Again I wanted to tell Ezekiel, but I held it in again.

"I not Dauntless material-"

My lips pursed as I observed Ezekiel slowly unraveling and showing me how worried he had been since the choosing ceremony. "Don't give me that bull. You could have been Dauntless easily." He started to pace around the room and said wounded, "Is it me? Am I the reason, be honest, Kinder."

"No, lord no. It could never be you baby. You know me better than myself sometimes." My eyes welled up at him thinking I would never want him. "I love you. Always…"

" _Zeke, where are we going?" I asked holding onto his hand tight. He smirked over to me when opening a door up for me._

" _I'm showing another cool thing Dauntless can do." Entering the building, I noticed many Dauntless kids walking around displays upon displays of black designs._

 _I whispered over to Ezekiel, "Are we at a tattoo shop?"_

 _His hand was grasping a design template, "I thought since you are into tattoos, you could help me pick one out." He placed the temp plate back and said mischievously, "Then maybe you can see if you want something more permanent than the blob you had on your arm a few days ago."_

" _So what do you like," I asked while picking up a template of an interesting tribal tattoo. I glanced over to Ezekiel smiling at me and I turned my bright red face back to the display. I didn't even need to ask because that face said everything. He liked me._

 _Walking around the display, I grasped a template feeling self-conscious as I handed it to Ezekiel. He read it, "No fear." Ezekiel smoky eye's glanced up to me, "Interesting."_

 _I laughed, "I thought it be fitting for a Dauntless." Ezekiel nodded his head and asked, "Do you see anything you like?"_

" _Yes, actually. But I don't think I'm technically allowed to spend my credits here."_

 _Ezekiel pulled me to the back room as I held my templates. "Don't worry, I'm paying." No one was in the back room yet and Ezekiel kissed my lips for the first time and it took my breath away. Pulling apart, Ezekiel said, "After all what kind of gentlemen would I be if I didn't pay on our date."_

 _Date! My mind screamed thrilled._

 _A young woman walked into the room, with many tattoos and piercings, and asked, "Who's first?"_

 _I glanced over to Ezekiel and he shrugged his shoulders, "I am." Ripping off his shirt, Ezekiel took a seat on the chair. I gently sat on a bar stool and soaked in his bare muscular chest with a very unique tattoo. It was a paw print, but in the palm of the print was a bear. It's was really cool._

" _Where do you want this?" The tattoo artist asked and Ezekiel pointed to his upper arm smiling at me. The woman nodded her head and placed a patch onto Ezekiel's skin and hit a button charging it up. Before a couple seconds, the tattoo artist pulled it off and there the black ink words remained._ _No Fear_ _. Ezekiel got off the chair and I made my way over to the chair. Without thought, I took off my shirt and in just my bra I sat in the chair. Pointing to my back-shoulder area, I said, "Here."_

 _Ezekiel was too preoccupied with covering his flabbergasted emotions to ask what I was getting. Instead Ezekiel wanted to look at my body with lust and yet the gentlemen side, he mentioned earlier, kept him from staring longer than five seconds. "Done," the tattoo artist said and placed her hand out. "Cards."_

 _As I placed my shirt back over my body, Ezekiel passed his card over and responded, "I got hers."_

 _Walking out of the small tattoo room, I had a huge smile on my face. Ezekiel held the door for me and he said, "I think you like Dauntless more than you let on."_

 _I bumped his hip and whispered in his ear, "Maybe I just like you." I took off running down the sidewalk and Ezekiel chased after me. And before I rounded the corner, he caught me and twirled me around. He said out of breath, "I want to show you something." I nodded my head and followed him climbing up to the train tracks. As the train started to fly by, we both ran alongside it. Ezekiel swiftly jumped into the cart and held his hand out for me. Grabbing his solid hand, I was pulled up into his arms. "We aren't going to Dauntless are we?"_

 _Ezekiel held onto the pole and replied, "No, I'm taking you somewhere better."_

 _After a half-hour, Ezekiel popped open the door revealing the abandon out skirts of the city and a river cross-sectioning the train track. The moonlight danced across his face and his laid his hand out to me. "Do you trust me?"_

 _My Erudite up bringing should have told me this was a bad and illogical idea. He was a stranger I met only a few days ago. And yet, my subconscious seemed instead to encourage me. I could feel deep down he was trust worthy._

 _Placing my hand into his, I said, "Always."_

 _Jumping off the train, we plummeted down to where the river engulfed us. Breaking the surface, Ezekiel and I swam to the one side of the river. With my clothes heavy with water, Ezekiel began to ring out his shirt. I asked, "Why did you get that tattoo of the bear paw print?"_

 _Ezekiel peeked over at me squeezing the water out of my hair. "It reminds me what I want in life."_

 _I stared at him puzzled, "And what do you want?" A pet bear, I laughed internally._

 _He walked closer to me letting me see his tattoo more. "I want to be free; free to choice to be strong and gentle, brave and yet cautious, canny, but honest. Hopefully, I can be that better person to help my family and friends."_

 _My mind seemed blank from not expecting such a deeper answer. Freedom would be nice. Away from my mother's controlling ways. "I wish I could be free too," I said grazing my hand over his tattoo._

" _Come with me," Ezekiel whispered and we both walked through the tall grass and made our way to a tall three story building I could barely make out in the dark. Climbing up the stairwell, we entered the top of the roof. "Wow," I gasped as I stared I awe at the many stars brightly shining back at us._

 _Ezekiel laid down on the roof, "It's amazing how the city lights cover up the true beauty."_

 _Lying next to Ezekiel, "You're very smooth Zeke. Do you take all the ladies up here?"_

 _Ezekiel's light brown eyes blinked confused as he said, "What ladies? You're the first person I ever brought here." He shifted onto his arm to support his head, "Why do you always insinuate I've been hoarding girls as a past time?"_

 _Because you so freaking good looking. Charming. Sweet. Did I have to say more? Turning red at my shallow thoughts now, I responded, "I just heard that most Dauntless men don't like having strings attached."_

 _He challenged me by saying, "And do all Erudite know everything?"_

 _I glanced down with a smirk, "They like to think that, but no."_

 _Looking up at the stars Ezekiel explained, "That's one flaw of the factions. Our world has gotten so fixated on where we belong and where our loyalty should lie to theses factions, that we forget what's really important." I was soaking in his in depth thought._

 _He looked over to see if I was interested in his topic and I said, "You're talking about faction before blood."_

" _Yes." He nodded his head and asked seriously, "Do you believe in that?"_

 _Playing with the ends of my hair I responded, "No. I don't. For one, I think Dauntless defy that statement. Do you really protect and do your job trusting these other people you work with because their Dauntless? No. You do it because you've built a trust with those people."_

 _Ezekiel seemed just as intrigued by our conversation. He stated, "Without the faction what are we?"_

" _We're all the same," I responded and bit my lip. Glancing up to Ezekiel I added, "This is refreshing. I never had conversations like this before. In Erudite we don't challenge this idea," I rolled my eyes, "because this is the logical choice to run our lives."_

 _He laughed hard at my change of tone as I said the last part of my sentence. I asked self-conscious, "Do you think I'm funny?"_

 _Moving closer to me, Ezekiel answered, "You're the first Erudite I've met with a sense of humor." He began to get closer to my face, "The first person I can have more meaningful discussion other than fighting or what tattoo to get next." Only inches away from my lips he whispered, "And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."_

 _Rapture into his kiss, his hand slowly guided behind my head and I wrapped my arms around his muscular body. I loved the way our synchronized lips match each other's urgency. Breaking a part to catch our breath, his soft lips continued to leave a fiery trail down my neck. Shifting his head back up to face me he asked, "What did you get by the way?"_

 _I smiled at Ezekiel and said playfully, "If you play your cards right, maybe later on you'll find out."_

I pulled Ezekiel close to me and whispered his name, "Zeke. I-" I glanced down, "I'm scared. If anyone knew my secret, something could happen to me, to" I stared at Ezekiel terrified, "you."

Ezekiel rubbed his confused face with his hand, "I'm not following. Secret, what secret Kinder? Has someone been threatening you because they know about," his voiced dropped lower with concerned, "us."

Shaking my head, I responded, "No. This has to do with me. That's why I choose Abnegation." I grasped Ezekiel's warm hands an added, "It's a place I can fade into."

Ezekiel was glancing away in frustration, "If you choice Dauntless, you wouldn't need to hid. I would have protected you from whoever is after you. But with you here, I'm helpless; not knowing if you're alright or not. And look at what happened in two weeks. Someone already hit you." His worry was combining with frustration and anger now as he growled, "I'm going to find who ever hurt you-"

"Zeke," I pleaded softly and his light brown up glanced up at my tone in surprised. "This is what I wanted to avoid. If you intervene, your life will be forte and I can't handle the idea of you dying for me." I whispered, "Trust me, this was the only option."

Ezekiel rested his hands on my shoulder and responded somberly, "Kinder, how can I do that when you won't let me in. Trust goes both ways. Do you trust me?"

 _Always_ , echoed in my mind. My eyes were watering up as I replied, "Yes." The idea of sharing this burden already seemed to ease my body, "I failed my aptitude test Zeke. It was inconclusive. Do you know what that means?"

His brown eyes widen and finally I could see all the gears in his mind click everything together. He hugged me tightly in his muscular arms, "They'll never get you. I won't let them Kinder."

"I love you so much Zeke. So-"

Suddenly Ezekiel placed his hand over my mouth and tilted his head listening. He whispered, "Someone's coming." Pushed into the shadow with Ezekiel, I watched Aaron and some girl from Abnegation walk into the stables and began to fully making out.

I whispered as we exit out of the stables and into the woods, "Well they aren't breaking any rules."

Ezekiel smiled before saying, "Not like us." Reaching over I kiss his tempting lips again only this time I grazed my tongue over his bottom lips asking to enter. Ezekiel gladly accepted and we slowly and attentively explored each other's mouth as if were our first again. Pulling back to see my hazel eyes Ezekiel whispered, "I missed this. I missed you."

Lifting his shirt over his head, I analyzed the glory of his muscular toned body. He had changed so much from when we were younger. Gently, I kissed his shoulder and let my hand explore his rock hard abs. Ezekiel shuddered under my touch and slowly zippered down my clothing and said, "Are you sure, Kinder? I can wait longer if you're not ready?"

My hand cupped his face as I said, "I want you. I want all of you." Guiding his hand to push the dress off my shoulder, I revealed for the first time my tattoo to him. His eyes explored my tattoo and Ezekiel smiled at the feather exploring into birds. "No regrets," his lips silently read beside my feather.

I shifted him over me and whispered in his ear, "No fear. No regrets. That's who we are."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Day 30

Proudly, I had done my thirty days of service to prove my loyalty to Abnegation. Today was the day, us, the new ones, would be initiated into this faction of selflessness and as Miss. Teresa put it, I should enjoy it. But as I sat on a chair with my fellow initiators, I was clouded with the recent tragedy. Honestly I couldn't even count how many of the sick, the lonely, the dying I had comfort and helped. Only a few stuck in my mind such as the two little girls I had taken care of two weeks before.

 _I had stepped toward to the Factionless crowd and I focused on a young girl crying. Her mother was trying to carry her around and I asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"_

 _The woman's face seemed relieved for the first time in her life. "Yes, my little girl was climbing and fell. Her ankle hurts."_

 _Nodding my head, I examined her ankle gingerly and noticed no exposed bone or ankle out of line, just immense swelling and bruising. Thank the lord. If it were broken, I wouldn't be able to do much besides try to set it back and bandage it up in hopes to heal right. "I think it's just a sprained ankle, madam."_

 _Opening my kit up, I glanced at the girl looking at me with uncertainty. "My name is Kinder. Do you have a name?" I asked while taking a piece of stretchy linen out. She nodded her red head, "Mira."_

 _I smiled at her, "That's a pretty name. Why were you climbing?"_

 _Slowly I wrapped her ankle up and Mira responded, "Jack said if I could reach the top, he give me a sandwich."_

 _My inside flipped at the thought of this little girl starving. "What kind of sandwich?"_

 _She bit her lip, "Peanut butter and Jelly."_

 _Pinning butterfly clips on I replied, "Well what a coincidence." I reached into my bag with my only lunch for today and added, "I have one. Here."_

 _Mira's eyes widen with the sandwich in her hands. She asked concerned, "What about you? What will you eat?"_

 _Glancing around my eyes search for some object to help Mira move around without putting pressure on her ankle and that's when I saw it. A broken up table by garbage can. "I ate already. Why don't you enjoy that while I find something to help you walk."_

 _As I head over I notice another girl joining Mira. From the looks of it, the younger girl looked like Mira with the same red tinted hair color. Sisters perhaps?_

 _Wiggling two metal legs shaped like a crutch free, I was becoming proud with my due prompt engineering. Walking back to the mother and her kids I said, "I'm going to give you a few cool compressed to put on her ankle to let the swelling go down." I bunched up a few sheets to pad the wider end where Mira's crutches would rest. Bending down to Mira sitting on the floor by herself again, I instructed, "Keep your ankle wrapped up and don't stand on it. Use these crutches to help you walk around." I turned to her mother and added, "Also let her take these pills every four hours as well."_

" _What will the pills do?" The mother asked nervously._

" _It's to help ease the pain and reduce the swelling," I added and the mother grasped my arm. "Thank you."_

 _The little one I had brief seen, peeked out from her mother's legs coughing like Mira and handed me something. Grasping it, I realized it was a braided bracelet._

 _I bent down on my knees and reached into my pocket. "Thank you. I have something for you both too. Here," I handed both girls a lollipop and moved on with my day._

 _Miss. Teresa finishing up with her patient and asked me, "Where did you get the sweets?"_

" _I made them at your home yesterday. Sure they are filled with sugar and strawberry, but also some medicine to calm down there cough."_

 _Miss. Teresa eyes sparkled with this idea and said, "Brilliant Kinder. You're going to have to teach me how to make these cough pops."_

A smile almost formed on my face as I played with the offered friendship bracelet under my sleeve. Almost. My thoughts were interrupted whenMarcus's muffled words were echoed into the silent night. Slowly I watch each person in the faction get up from their seat and go down the row of new imitators, to wash our feet with the bowls next to us. As they slowly approached me, I could hear Aaron struggling not to laugh. He whispered next to me, "Their so ticklish."

My lip twitched a bit in amusement. Aaron, my only other friend than Miss. Teresa, always seemed to pull me out of my darkness with his bright personality. Then again how could he not be chipper, Aaron after being fledge a member would be proposing to a woman here? I was glad at least he could immerse himself into this faction so well now.

"How are your plans," I asked trying to rid of the nightmare of today's earlier events.

Aaron's smile widened more as he leaned closer to say, "After I ask her father for his permission, I'm going to give her this." He pulled out of his pocket a small ring that was in the shape of a horseshoe. "I had the Amity friend to help me out."

I nodded my head in understanding. While Amity produced crops and food for us other factions, they too mined for metals from the earth.

"She'll love it," I responded as he placed it back into his pocket. "But I'm pretty sure they don't wed that way."

I watched each person touching my feet and I only noticed a few people I had seen before. Miss. Teresa and the Gardeners obviously, but also a girl named Beatrice. I had encountered her last week when volunteering to bring food to the other factions. Beatrice glanced up to me suddenly and for the first time I felt fear. Out of everyone there in Dauntless territory, she had spotted Ezekiel and me exchanging a note. Glancing away, she moved on to Aaron.

Aaron asked, "What do you mean?"

"What I've heard they do a candle lighting ceremony and you exchange vows to each other. But you can still give it to her as a remembrance of your love and loyalty to her."

He shook his head astounded, "How do you know so much?"

"I talk to people," I joked and Aaron tried muffling his laugh, "Oh, okay. You were socializing. I like to see that."

Finally the last person washed our feet and dried them, thus dinner proceeded and we all shared a meal of our bland diet. While talking a bit, I couldn't help but notice the girl Aaron was going to ask to be his wife staring at me. This was making more uncomfortable than I already was, so I stopped participating in Aaron's and the others conversation.

Soon the last bit had been eaten and Marcus stood up saying, "Initiates, I finally have the honor to announce you as members of Abnegation. We allow you the choice to continue to live with your homes now or we offer the single apartments. It's up to you. Personally, I feel like they are a little too small for me. But anyway, follow, Mr. Prior for a new home or go back to the other ones. Thank you."

Glancing over to the Gardeners, I already knew what I wanted to do. Walking toward Mr. Gardener, I shook his hand. "Thank you for your guidance and hospitality."

Bernard smiled and replied happily, "It was a privilege to helping you." Connie nodded her head stiffly while Eugene smiled at me. "Good luck," Eugene said as I picked up my only possessions.

Following Mr. Prior, only six of us walked down the road way to buildings that looked the same as the other exteriors. But instead of two homes in one place, there were four roomed apartments. Being handed a key, I stepped into my own place and thought automatically. _It was way smaller._

All in one room was a twin size bed, a television used to watch the news, a small table to seat two people, an extremely small kitchen, and a closet space for a walk-in shower, sink and toilet.

Even though this room was the size of a box, I had gain something; freedom to do what I wanted in my private place. No one could judge me here. A place where no one could see how hard I was struggling to live here, or even keep constant track on me.

After placing my plant on the table and dropping my medical sack, I retrieved from before on the floor, I plopped on the bed exhausted. I hated how no matter how hard I tried to block everything out, I could still see the boys face. How blank and lost his brown eyes stared back at me. Shaking my head I tried ridding the thoughts of how today I was helping the Factionless ended in disaster.

 _As I glanced up to look at the bright blue sky, I noticed movement of a person standing on the edge of building. My heart sunk into my stomach because I could tell he wasn't Dauntless with black clothing. He didn't have a parachute or a net below him. And he was very young._

 _While the Factionless began to point to where the boy was in awe, I didn't think. I just began to climb up the building's wall with many cracks in it. My legs shook under my weight as I hoisted my body up higher. But I didn't care. I was too determined to stop him. And what seemed like forever finally came to an end as I was able to roll myself over to the ledge where the boy was standing by. Getting onto my knees, the boy looked over to me in shock and whispered, "What are you doing here?"_

" _I just needed some fresh air," I said calmly. "Though it's cold up here." I glanced over to the coat he had thrown by his side and asked, "Would you mind if I could borrow your coat, Mr-?"_

 _I took a few steps closer as he didn't move from his spot. He whispered, "Kale."_

 _Picking up the coat, I was now getting closer to him just in case he did decide to jump. "Do you have a first name? Mine's Kinder."_

" _Todd," he answered as he stared down at the bustling city. Inching even more closer I asked, "So did you come up here to think too? I do that a lot."_

" _No," Todd said firmly with a deadpanned expression, "I'm going to kill myself."_

 _My mouth said the only thing to pop into my mind, "Why?"_

" _I'm done." He took a step closer to the ledge, "I have no purpose."_

 _Panic was rattling my body as I interjected, "You don't have to be in a faction to find purpose. That's up to you." I could see Dauntless diving out of the train and I was relieved I have some back up soon._

 _Todd smiled at me with tears in his eyes, "Easy for you. You found your place where you belong. I tried and failed. Failed. And now I have no family, no friends, no job or anything! How can you understand anything when nothing had every happened like this to you?!"_

" _That's not true," I said unsettled by his words. "I know what it's like to lose love ones. I don't belong being…." Divergent._

 _He jumped off quickly and I leap out and grasped onto his arm in reaction._

 _Being in a terrible position to lift his body up, I struggled lying flat along the edge with my whole sore arm extend over the ledge. I groan with him using all his dead weigh against my attempt to save his life. I whispered, "Please, you have so much to live for. Your just sixteen years old." My arm felt like jello as sweat dripped from my face. "Don't let this death be on me." I tried guilting him into re-thinking this plan._

 _I stared into his dark eyes and Todd responded, "How can you kill someone that's already dead." He yanked at my arm and dug his nails into my hand. I cried out in pain as the last of my strength was failing. Before a Dauntless person could make it through the restless Factionless crowd, Todd slipped through my hands and I watched him plummet to his death. "Noooo!" I yelled as a Dauntless pulled me away from the ledge._

" _He let go. He let go," I kept repeating over and over as tears poured down my face._

Curling up in a ball, I cried myself to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11:_

 _Feeling my shoulder being shook, I knew Ezekiel was waking me up from my sleep. But it was weird. I could feel a cold draft hitting my back and I thought confused, did he leave the window open?_

 _As I turned around to face him, I was suddenly staring down to tiny people and road way. With wind gusting through my hair, I pushed back against the wall's ledge in panic. How did I get on top of a building?! Turning my head to the left I can see the ledge starting to crumble in a domino effect and I had no choice but to run the opposite direction. With my heart pounding my chest apart, I leaped for the other building's roof. Slowly falling I had calculated that I had under shoot my jump and miraculously my hands clung onto the roofs eave._

 _Trying with all my strength, I struggled to lift myself up, but it was too hard. My arms are shaking violently and my hazel eyes began to water up knowing I wasn't going to make it. I would be falling to my death soon. As all hope was about lost, Ezekiel popped over the edge._

" _Zeke," I announced gratefully that I was going to be saved._

 _But as my eyes stared at Ezekiel, I could feel in my gut something was wrong. He looked at me as if I were a stranger. I called out scared, "Zeke, help me."_

 _His head tipped in confusion and finally said emotionless, "Who are you?"_

 _I suddenly fall into the dark abysses._

Jolting up, I flay my arms around realizing I was hitting something solid that was holding my mouth shut. My wild eyes dart around in terror till I finally could hear a calming voice say, "Kinder. It's me. Zeke. Calm down. It's okay. It's okay."

My arms drop down as I tried to catch my breath still. Ezekiel pushed a piece of my blonde hair away and replied, "I'm sorry if I scared you with covering your mouth up. You were screaming and kicking and I, I just didn't want you to draw any more attention to yourself."

Still shaking, Ezekiel rubbed my back in comfort, "It was only just a dream."

I finally lock onto Ezekiel's eyes. They are no longer empty, but warm with love and recognition. My trembling lips barely whisper, "Horrible dream."

Covering my face with my hands, I tried to shake off how real that dream felt. It was close to what I felt like under the serum in the testing facility. Ezekiel's lips pressed against the top of my head and whispered gently, "Uriah saw what happened to you today. Was your dream about that?"

Nodding my head, I leaned into his warm comforting body. _Sort of, only Ezekiel was the one who let me go. But I couldn't tell him that that my mind created the idea of Ezekiel forgetting me or worse letting me down. It was impossible. Like he said, it was only just a dream._

…

It was still dark outside when I turned to Ezekiel's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful lying next to me. I wish I could sleep, but the fear of that dream haunted me. Sensing my loving watch, his one eye peeked up at me and he smiled. "Good morning baby," Ezekiel mumbled while stretching his arms out. "What time is it?"

Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was only three o'clock. "Too early." I laughed a little as his brown eyes glanced at the clock in thought. Ezekiel brow creased even more and I knew his brain was in overdrive now with thinking. Kissing his forehead, I asked, "What are you thinking so hard about?"

Those captivating eyes of his shifted back to me with uncertainty and mischief. What was he up too? "I want to marry you."

I slightly smirk as I responded sadly, "I do too." But that could never happen. Ezekiel sat up in the moonlight and grasped my hand. "Kinder marry me?"

Staring at him confused and excited, I stated logically, "We can't Zeke. It isn't allowed."

The smile that still took my breath away shined while shaking his head. "That's never stopped us before. Kinder answer my question. Will you marry me and be my wife?"

A smile consumed my face when I whispered, "Yes." Kissing his lips, I added happily, "Yes, I will marry you. But how will-"

Ezekiel place a finger on my lips and responded assured, "Leave that all to me." Dawn was soon approaching and I knew Ezekiel would have to leave. Kissing my forehead he added, "The next time you see me Kinder, you will be my wife. I love you."

I pulled his shirt quickly so I could kiss his soft lips again. "Till next time baby."


End file.
